Repeating Performance

...as I ponder and reflect my races, I wade through and explore patterns of my performance, some of which annoyingly repeat.

We all run and train and engage in races to challenge ourselves.  In a way, we try to create our own patterns, create our own destiny.

Still, I get into those moods where I feel I'm stuck in some repeating pattern and there is no way out no matter how hard I try.

That is when... I look first outwards at my race performances in review.  When I find nothing helpful which precisely outlines my destiny options, then I switch and look inwards.

My First Memory

Instead of looking at today's world, which is pretty much a chaotic mess, I revert to more simpler times, such as... my first memory.

My very first memory,  I was probably about two years old.

What I remember was sitting with a lot of other people around the same age as myself.

This experience to me seemed like it was some kind of party.  I made the assumption that there was gifts going around.

Knowing that I might be getting gifts, I remember being very attentive.  Looking for the rules I had to follow to get those gifts that seemed to be going around.

All of us in the group were sharing ideas on what we needed to do to... establishing the rules we all had to follow.  I was trying hard to capture all the communication.  I was having a tough time figuring it out, I'm not the best at taking notes.

I also remember trying to see if I could persuade the people next to me if I could be passed some gifts considering that was the rules of the game.  I remember receiving something and I felt I had to pass it on, because I was about to get some better gift.   I passed on whatever I had to make sure I was free'd up.

I was quite excited.  What a party.

In reality, if you were to see me in that very experience, you would most likely see a bunch of snotty nosed toddlers sat down all in a tight circle by their parents.  Crying and throwing things around, making a mess and sporadically chanting clueless rants.

To all of us, however, in that circle of toddlers, it was very complex and meaningful and extremely important.   What is interesting about this memory, as I remember it, is that I built up side stories about every person at the so called 'party'.  I built up side stories about the game, about gift receiving and giving, about how everyone was communicating with me on how the game as to be followed.

Essentially, I made assumptions, made generalizations and everything fit the story, all aligning together towards me getting a gift.

Racing Patterns

Now, I am not going to sit here and analyze my first memory and how it plays out in my race performances.  All I can suggest is that it is still in my banks.

Whether or not I value my performance is not what I am trying to figure out here.  Rather it is such that I am wondering why I keep repeating the same performances over and over.

I'm just annoyed with repeating performances, whatever the value is.

Lose Yourself to Grow

There is however, one very unique performance, that I have had the chance to experience at least a few times out of my hundreds of races and tournaments.  That very unique performance is why I keep trying and coming out.

What is that unique performance?   It is the performance that just doesn't fit with my regular pattern of performance.  Where I somehow perform at some level or another that is beyond current comprehension.  Rarely happens, but I can assure that for each of those instances, I grew in character.

So, if I think about those unique performances in congruence with anything else in my life.  I appeal that I wasn't carrying anything with me into those instances.  I actually was not really even thinking or aware or even there.  I lost myself, I let go of everything and just relaxed and let whatever happen, happen.  That is the benefit of being caught up in the moment of a race and letting go.  Running sometimes does that if you allow it.

I just sometimes look for uniqueness out of every race, every performance.  Dredging through my first ever memory is quite complicated to carry around with me everywhere.  I actually feel it weighs me down when I race, no matter how I would want to analyze it.  Even if it is silent back in my sub-conscience.

Part of losing yourself is also losing all of that complexity that weighs you down.  Which is the idea of just letting go.  When I let go, I do lose myself in the performance, not concerned with however it turns out... as if it was to be a new experience, becoming the new, more relevant first memory of my life.

Pain Training

Pain Training

The advent of aerobic training dominated the television programs of the 80's.  There was one special marketing slogan that shook TV in 1982, that was, "No Pain, No Gain" proposed by Jane Fonda for her workout videos.  That slogan was incorporated into training programs with the impression that one's fate is controlled through "The Pain Train".

The "No Pain, No Gain" slogan is still emanating through the consciousness of every gym mirror.  More-so, the slogan is taking over through latest trends, incorporating High Intensity Training (HIT) with short duration.  This is due to the added benefits of the new craze of managing and controlling aging.

Before exploring pain training, first I need to distinguish types of pain.   There is pain that screams out at you when you have an injury and there is pain that yells out when you reached your physical limits.   That pain you experience when you have an injury should be reviewed by a professional.  The type of pain that you feel tired or at your limits, for example, when you run real fast for an extended period of time is the type that is the most compelling.

Let's explore the training program that intensifies the element of workout pain.

The Pain Drain

When people started to show up in public wearing only speedos, there were exhibiting the results of weight training benefits.  Apart from the awkwardness, people knew that came from the  "No Pain, No Gain" era.  Everyone was inspired, but they also knew showing up at the mall in speedos was not worth the hard work.

The more that media marketed exercise, workouts became a little more draining, it was much too complicated with a cagillion different programs and trainers.  Specialists arose which could break down every facet of the workout to molecular levels.  That developed the Pain Drain where the craze of defining one's fate through hard work almost turned into a bore.

Almost everyone avoids workout pain and only a fraction of people are motivated enough to tolerate pain to a degree of excellent achievement through competition.  The issue arises when workout pain becomes such a deterrent such that it shuns people from even entering any workout program.   The only way someone could motivate themselves to make it through training is by developing subservience to a higher power, such as a trainer.

Once the trainer is too costly, and the program cuts out too much of one's personal and professional time, then the value of workout pain results in drain.  More so, burn out even hits those who are most motivated and specialized dealing with workout pain.   Potentially those who are really good at tolerating pain in their workouts end up becoming the most dissatisfied long term with their participating even in normal simple exercises.

Training with Pain

How I train with workout pain is simple.  I don't like pain and I don't need it, I'm happy and want to maintain a sense of happy (even if it is boring).   It's that simple.  So, then how do I develop a workout pain program?   If I'm not happy when workout pain hits, then it isn't for me.  But I still give it a chance to say what it has to say and wait until next training day to meet up with pain again to see what is new.

Then why do I run?   Running seems to be all about pain in general.

What I like about running is that I meet up with workout pain at some point and there is no rules that I can or not slow down.  I slow down, that's it.  That is what makes running so unique from other sports saturated in pain.

With running, how is it that I am able to incorporate workout pain?

Running is a build up... Remember the movie Rocky where the smoker could hardly handle a run then build up to be able to finish and feel happy about it?  The idea is to build up and be happy with a little pain and keep it at that level.  The more intense your workout, the more time you needed to build up to that level.  Over time, capabilities are increased with more to do, but workout pain is always waiting.

As for my development, I invite pain to the workout party.   Once workout pain arrives, I observe it, listen to it, learn from it and then slow down and appreciate the in-between.  Once workout pain is gone, I cycle through again, accept it, observe it, listen to it and learn from it.  I am a suck when it comes to pain, but very active building myself up to facing it.

The main idea is that once you develop that expectation, then you'll notice that the pain you were afraid of showing up never makes it.  When you are more accepting and expect workout pain to show up and let it arrive, it is not that bad.  Workout pain is not that bad as as long as you don't sit there and listen to it go on and on and annoy you.

Meditation

I have taken courses on meditation, did the whole personal meditation journal for a month, wrote essays on it.   I also participated in a 10 day getaway at a Vipassana meditation camp.  I have learned how to realize annoying pain, observing it, understanding it and letting it go.  I did not really deal with pain, it is always the same, not fun.

Arguably, workout pain is an organic will which brings to your attention that there is something to learn.

If you learn to learn from workout pain, then you then tend to accept it as organic and real.   Of course, I would recommend that you let go by not running so hard apart from meditation practice which lingers around pain.   Meditation incorporates much lower impact stances such as sitting in a single place for extended periods of time, not the same as running, so that is much safer to explore pain.

What is learned most out of meditation is that all of the pain you were afraid of, keeping you from working out, is not the resulting pain you thought you would experience.  Pain is different from what you anticipate.  It is more sensations of tension, hot/cold, tingling, pressure... all organic senses.  That workout pain you actually observe really is just trying to tell you something.  Think of it as a form of communication and the talker is not making any sense and very loud.   Listen to that workout pain, then figure out where it is coming from, is it an injury?  is a muscle imbalanced?  is it bone?  are you one a sugar high and your blood is just burning?  or are you simply at your limit?  Take a mental note, understand it, then slow down, cool off and chill, lowering the volume of that pain...  Once you do that, cycle through again and again.  Your brain will like you for it and maybe your brain will be more open and happy with learning.

Technical Superiority

The idea with learning from workout pain is to learn how to improve your technical capability.  If you can learn from your workout pain such that you improve your bio-mechanical movements, then the value is that you are more capable to push your limits just below the workout pain zone while maintaining superior results.  That is the game you play while also listening to your body when you feel workout pain.

You need to spend some time with workout pain and focus on your technical movements.  As much as you benefit to improve technically for your drills, sometimes when you feel workout pain, then all that technical capability is thrown out the door.   If you find that when you are hit with workout pain and you just cannot focus such that your technical movements are faulty, then definitely take it easy.  You need to develop that fine sense of workout pain along with technically refining without falling apart.  This goes the same for core exercises, weight training... all of it, you need to be relaxed and smooth with the movements especially when pain is talking.

Just to blindly deal with workout pain and bounce around foolishly creates imbalances and leads to injury.   The more you listen to your workout pain and chill out, the more likely you minimize imbalance and injury.

Competition Day

Now all of this talk about learning with workout pain, how does that help on competition day?  When I first started running, I just went all out and drained myself.  I did that because I did not have all the cool experience and built capabilities of a seasoned runner.  It was a Pain Drain, being a short term, blind "No Pain, No Gain" paying dividends, but there was diminishing returns by not developing with patience.

When it comes to competition day, I still put in all my chips and tolerate the pain to try my best.  However, the best performance I have had are the ones I was most prepared for.  And the most prepared I was were those instances where I learned from my body, learned from my health, learned from my capabilities... and learned from workout pain.

When pain hits me during a race, if I can't be patient to listen to it and be happy with the result, then I'm just not prepared and then I let other motivators take over.  If I do not have those other motivators in my pocket, then I just fall apart and get upset at my result.  Whereas, if I learned from the pain of during the experience, at least I could have something other than the result to gain.

To conclude, the best way to train with pain is as follows:

• Welcome pain
• Listen to pain
• Learn from pain
• Relax and let go

As much as the "No Pain, No Gain" slogan changed the consciousness of individual pursuit, rather than looking past pain to define your fate, and rather than being afraid of pain and avoiding it, accept it head on and learn what you can from it.  As they say, it is better to love pain then not to have loved at all.  That doesn't mean that you have to like workout pain, stay happy!

Junk Miles

Junk Miles

On the completion of the marathon race, I could proclaim that I was drenched in miles and miles of training. Post marathon, I took time off to recover with plenty of time to...

I started running all over again, trying to pull off the tricks that got me a great marathon experience - lots of consistent confident mileage...  Not knowing the running world so well, I jumped back into the 5 k race game thinking it would be a cinch since I easily completed a full on marathon!   Wasn't I pleasantly surprised...   If you're a runner like I am not, then you already know the answer, I was "please no slow" (meaning please nobody see how slow I am).

Upon finding out that my bag of tricks had cobwebs, I stumbled on a phrase everyone knew but me, "Junk Miles"

Everything is bad for you!

Now junk miles has deep meanings to runners.  But I'm not very clear.  When I hear "Junk Miles", I think of "Junk Food".   I think of the commonality of each phrase, I look for the origin.

"Junk Food" was not a well defined term, but we all well know what we think it means.  When fast food restaurants first came to the scene, they were fantastically innovative.  They could create meals out of regular everyday consistencies to develop amazing experiences that encouraged our survival...  As crowd survival inbred with abundance of energy sources, those fast food restaurants embellished experience and plasticated into a morph of "Junk Food".

Currently today, we are so afraid of Junk we try to reinvent through worship facets of specialization of labor, that being the glorification of chefs and variety.  Chefs are great and I appreciate their creativity, consistency and sustainability.  Chef craze to the media assumes junk is magically out of the window.  There are even Chefs that have no tolerance and would banish anyone that was flawed - we are sold - Junk Food is conquered.  But why isn't the farmer glorified delivering the foods to the chef?  Wouldn't that help a bit? Would not the source of foods the chef uses have any value?   You get where I am going, once experience is plasticized and overshadows and basis of reality, everything really becomes "Junk Mentality" regardless of how it is conquered... At least, that is one way to associate origin with current trends.  I am not suggesting we can't enjoy at the cost of health, but rather am merely trying to understand why health has been pushed by reliance on ambiance.  I am just trying to understand how we can allow junk to become so commonplace?  Maybe there is a better answer, I am just exploring through comparisons.

Running itself could be thought of as an activity of preventative maintenance. If running is thought of as preventative maintenance, then "Junk Miles" could not be associated with "Junk Food", which could not be associated with "Junk Mentality" if health is a high priority.  So where does the term Junk Miles come from if it is not Junk?

What does it mean?

There have been some studies to suggest that too much running stresses the heart and propels it to adjust in ways that would not suit long term.  There are other long term studies to statistically conclude that running has a bell curve of it's own with too less or too much causing long term destruction to health.  On the other hand, other studies statistically correlate high mileage to faster race finishes.

However, let's not rehash arguments against whether too much miles is good or bad for health or performance.  Rather, let's just understand what "Junk Miles" means.  Remember, I am new to the term and everyone already knows what it means, or at least think they know what it means as well as what Junk Food means.   Can I suggest that Junk Miles is a "Junk Mentality" such that we engage in miles to blindly overcome more essential factors of training and great health?

For example, do we run more to avoid stretching?  To we run more to avoid strength training?  Do we run more to avoid drills?  Do we run more to avoid recovery?  If we do, then that is more related to "Junk Mentality", would it not?

Forget about whether "Junk Miles" is generically bad or good for health.  We all know if we are cheating ourselves for not engaging in an activity to avoid or overshadow essentials for better overall health and well being.

Focus

As for myself, I was relieved to recently discover the term "Junk Miles".  What that meant for me was that it was okay to focus on drills, okay to focus on strength, okay to focus on stretching and definitely super okay to enable recovery.  It is great to know that I can potentially do well in the running world without having to run every free cycle that I am privileged.  I was once convinced I had to run twice a day to be able to enjoy the running world, I tried it and it did become enjoyable.  Yet that enjoyment should be taken in stride.  At least for me, only a short few months of the year would I engage in "Junk Miles" safely such that it wouldn't become a "Junk Mentality"... but at some points it really did for me until my motivation took charge.

Since I have been running less and focusing more on quality, enabling less Junk Miles, I assure you that my training is drastically different from marathon training.  I can outline the difference easily between the two types of training:

More Miles Pros

• More time to experience and learn to relax while running
• More engaged with the elements of the outdoors, almost feeling a part of it
• Heart beat took a while to know the activity was fine and eventually slowed down
• Found a consistent pace that I would repeat day in and day out
• Slowly but surely, I could build more mileage and more mileage

More Miles Cons

• When I was done a run, I was done, no stretching, no strength training, no drills
• When I wanted to do drills or strength I felt I should hold off for the next big run
• If I wasn't running, I felt as if I should be running
• There were tingles everywhere, the worry of injury was prevalent... injuries were prevalent
• Mental walls created from running too much can really be draining

Less Miles Pros

• I had time in-between running sessions to relax and avoid compound traces to injury
• I could do drills whenever I wanted and had energy for it
• I could do strength training whenever I wanted and had energy for it
• I could stretch all the time... all the time
• Once quality improvements set in, improvements really set in

Less Miles Cons

• Dealing with quality hurts and takes a lot of hurt to improve
• Engaging in Anaerobic activities can put a stop to the fun quickly
• Technical training requires a lot of coaching and support
• If the energy and motivation is not there, quality go down, junk sets in

Since I have discovered the term Junk Miles, I have sincerely been happy to take a break from the cons of high mileage.  It has been a while and now I am missing the high mileage world.   For a while, I would like to explore the world of less mileage, higher quality.  Nevertheless, Junk Miles is only Junk Mentality if it is used to avoid important aspects of training, balance and variety.